Steve has a ham radio

Okay this one is not much about amateur radio and maybe it is because I am suffering from the flu but I need to get this one off my congested chest. I am starting to feel a little paranoid, but we all know that saying "Just because you are paranoid does not mean they are not out to get you", so let me run this by you and see what everyone thinks.

Firstly as a background I hate strangers in my home, I see it as a violation of my space. Therefore when I got a visit a few months back from a company called EON offering to do a "complete home insulation survey, for free". It would only take 30 minutes. I told them to go away. Imagine my surprise when a week or so later I got the same offer from a company called 'The Energy Savings Trust' they too were sent packing. This was followed by another similar offer from a company whose name I no longer remember that told me they could arrange massive grants on double glazing and insulation. I have checked out these sorts of claims before and I always find I earn too much for the grants to apply, so they did not interest me at all either.

Then in November I had a letter from the local council telling me my home had been randomly chosen to receive a full structural survey as part of an assessment of housing in the area. The survey would take at least 30 minutes and I would be entitled to a copy of the report. Why the hell the council was interested in a private residence was totally beyond me. There was no way to say no and they turned up on the door at 'their' appointed time getting me out of bed after a night shift. They argued black was blue that I "had to let them in" but in the end the extremely angry half naked maniac got through to their thick heads that they were as welcome as Syphilis at an orgy.

This morning in my mailbox I received the following: "North Wales Fire and Rescue Service will be carrying out FREE home fire safety checks in your area on Thursday 13th and Friday 14th January. This visit will take 30 minutes maximum. " 30 minutes? That sounds familiar! At least with this one there is a get out clause in the from of a big red cross to place in your window, but even that sounds kind of weird, almost biblical. No thanks, no Angel of Death today!

I also recently turned down free check of my gas appliances and a "we want to tell you how you can save money by not leaving your appliances on standby" talk, which would only take up 30 minutes of my time.

Why does everyone want to spend 30 minutes in my home? Do they think I am making crystal meth in the garage or anthrax in my bathroom? Maybe it is the intercontinental ballistic missile I am building in the garden. More likely it is just a run of coincidences but I am feeling like the guy in that episode of the Twilight Zone.

The neighbours find out Steve has a ham radio...